New Life Phase

I have restarted this post 3 times now. I just have a hard time finding the right words to express myself. I think I'll resort to a list. I love lists. I live by lists. So here it is:

What I'm enjoying about my new life--the grass is greener on this other side...

-We are actually making enough money to live on and save, so we no longer have to live off of our savings account.
-Our whole family is now insured under one company. (Before moving here, I was dealing with three insurance companies. As for myself, I had a primary insurance and Medicaid as a secondary insurance. Having a baby under two insurance plans is so complicated...and frustrating...I was very grateful for Medicaid, but I did have to spend a lot of time on the phone sorting things out).
-I now have all the time in the world to do all of those things I've been wanting time to do, such as: sewing projects, improving my cooking skills, practicing viola and piano, working on some home decorating projects, figuring out what to do with those unpacked boxes, getting myself in the best shape of my life, etc. I have two adorable kids who take up most of my time, but I have the freedom to organize my time so that I can do little bits of some things I've been wanting to do : )
-We're closer to our dream of buying a house! Hopefully we have just a couple of years until that happens, but it seems so much closer now that we're here and can actually start saving the money for it. (I'll admit, I've been looking at houses on Zillow today...You know me, always looking ahead.)
-I'm really starting to enjoy our new ward. I was worried I wouldn't like it because it's basically like the BYU married ward I've avoided, i.e., very young married couples with very young children who are constantly moving in and out of the ward. However, I have already made a couple of friends, which is usually difficult for me and takes a long time.

What I'm struggling with in my new life--this grass is sure green, but there are some yellow spots...

-I feel like I'm still adjusting to having a toddler and baby. I'm not sure why it's taking so long. Maybe it won't get any easier and I just have to stretch my abilities and capacity as a mother. Maybe I'm struggling because I had my Mom coming down almost every week in Utah and my husband was just upstairs when I needed help.
-Callie has not been herself. She's difficult, belligerent, quick to scream/whine/cry, now gets jealous of the attention I give to Madison, and she isn't sleeping as much or as well. (Just today, Callie was in one of these awful moods. Jason was at whit's end and had sent her to her room. I told him this is how she's been lately. He said, "How do you deal with that every day?" I've been praying for patience and kindness because I don't think I deal with it very well.)
-While we were well prepared for how this job would be during the busy season, the struggles I just mentioned have made it really difficult also having Jason gone 65+ hours a week (including Saturdays). Around 4 or 5 everyday, I'm exhausted and about ready pull my hair out, and I don't have the relief of Jason coming home to ease my load. I just have to keep going and going until bedtime. I have to remind myself that busy season will end in a couple of months and then I'll have Jason back.

See, it was much easier for me to say all of that in a list.